As I passed by while driving down the highway I wondered where they were going. What brought these lifeless beasts out from the safety of their village to venture into the unknown? Most, I’m guessing, could not say they were here for the same reasons as myself. These people were probably slaving away at their meaningless jobs. Maybe Grandma needed a bottle of milk opened? Who knows the real reason but most of these creatures long ago sold themselves a lie so they wouldn’t have to live like me. You wouldn’t think that everyone could be such great liars. Have a look around and take a good look. You’re surrounded by liars.
Sell outs, people who’ve compromised who they are to achieve a little comfort and security. Also known as delusions. None of that exists, none of it. That’s not to say my life isn’t entirely delusional, I have accepted that in order to function I must lie to myself on a daily basis or nothing would ever get done. The biggest lies we tell are the ones we don’t even realize we’re propagating.
We fall into that mode of security & familiarity and do whatever it takes to maintain that comfort. We will lie to our lovers, tell them how great they are and how happy we are for them, buy them things. Not because, not because we love to see them happy. This is the sick part. We do it so they won’t ever leave us. A weave of grotesque mongoloid like behavior meant to entrap those around us because we’re too fucking needy and scared to function on our own to find our true love, our true calling.
Two creatures in love, where the one is an extension of the other have no need for such webs. Material items, jealousy of others, sick and venal. This is the delusional state all these shit heads passing by me are living in. There is a distinctive difference between the rare couple who are truly meant for each other. The individual who’s partner is an extension of themselves rather than a parasitic host. Between them and the vast majority of lives and partnerships that are nothing but bullshit spewed so much that it has finally left both people living a nice comfortable life where nothing ever changes.
All these other drivers. They have a destination. They’re going somewhere. That’s what they’ve done their whole lives. They’ve gone to school, got a job, went to work, went here, went there, did this and did that. At the end of their lives it amounts to something. Apparently. I wonder how many of these fuckers even know where they’re going or are they just going because that’s what seems natural to them? When they get to the end of their lives what are they going to say?
“Well I married the first guy who I became truly comfortable with after high school. After that we got married, had some kids, went on family vacations every other year and here I am now. Old and decrepit.” Now unlike most of these people, I have no idea where I’m going right now. I might turn around in 30 miles, it might be 100 miles. Wherever I decide to stop, I’m going to make things happen. You see, consistency is boring. Safe, but boring. As a person who needs to be challenged by new situations I find it very hard to be with someone who wants to pick up the kids, make dinner, watch Seinfeld and then rinse and repeat for 40 fucking years until they die.
Ida J. Mancini: “We’re not lost! We’re pioneers. Blazing a trail through the new frontier. And if you look very closely you’ll see an opportunity to overcome your fear. Listen very closely, there’s nothing worth having that comes without a risk. Cause I won’t always be around to nag you… sometimes, its not important which way you jump… just that you jump!”
Fictional character but holds some truth never the less. The innovators, the romantics, the leaders of our time. The people who lived rich and full lives never came to such realizations by remaining stagnate and comfortable. They took risks, disregarded what people thought of their decision and never looked back.
I’ve walked this road, stopped a couple times but continue on. But loneliness is a tiresome companion. I continue on, join me if you like or stay where you are. To be honest, it wouldn’t surprise me.. no one has surprised me yet.
Talking Shit About a Pretty Sunset
Oh noose tied myself in, tied myself too tight
Looking kind of anxious in your cross armed stance
Like a bad tempered prom queen at a homecoming dance
And I claim I’m not excited with my life any more
So I blame this town, this job, these friends
The truth is it’s myself
And I’m trying to understand myself
and pinpoint where i am
By the time I get things figured out
I’ve change the whole damn plan
Oh noose tied myself in, tied myself too tight
Talking shit about a pretty sunset
Blanketing opinions that i’ll probably reget soon
I’ve changed my mind so much I cant even trust it
My mind changed me so much I cant even trust myself
No comments yet, be the first!