There was a hint of strange, in that good sense. Much like a sense of deja vu that haunts the ranks of your memory. It was good though, it was a blue bird that wanted nothing but to get out. Easy enough, as it was where he was exposure to the world could bring unwanted side effects. There's this place he knows, it must be deep at the bottom of his heart. He knows its there. What was it? He knew it mattered but why? How could something he wasn't even sure of have the definitive answers he was looking for? "I guess that's what the religious people call faith."

He believed it in his heart. It was her more than anything else. More than his emotions, more than his wants and even more than his needs. This time however, it wasn't a game. A game that has been won many times over, he threw it all away. “Here's to being fucking honest.” He murmured. “And here's to the next one, may I continue to suspend my disbelief in hope of the hopeless.” No reply, but is to be expected from an empty room, fading light, and a bottle of beer. The depression wasn't so bad. It was... expected.

Or I dance. I've yet to find out if there is a partner involved. I suppose as they say, time will tell. What I thought was sad has ultimately turned into sheer disappointment in that I have a sneaking suspicion she is unwilling to dance. That's tough to swallow. Down right painful. As much as I'm aware of her desires, I pursue on. Blindly carrying willful ignorance. Ignorance really isn't even the best way to describe it. Stubbornness is a much better choice. I am stubborn, I want what I can't have, and to be entirely honest we don't have much in common.

He rose in unison with the sun. Coincidence or not he wasn't quite sure. This morning felt different. This morning he felt alone and alive and trapped and excited. If there is such a way to know if you are going to die, he was most certainly certain that this would be the day. "I found myself dying in my dreams last night. Over and over. As everyone I've ever known looked on in unified horror." He was surprisingly calm and remained where he lay. I suppose when death takes over your dreams, there's no use fighting it. To him though, it really didn't matter.